While part of me feels kinda bad about it, I wasn't too concerned BECAUSE!
"Oh, hey! Yeah, I'll be there to kill you presently.
Just lemme load mah bow. *twang*"
The horn for the CrossFit Cypress Hunger Games Challenge blew Monday.
You're on a team. You go through four different WOD trials (overhead squat, farmer's carry, etc) each week. After nine weeks, they measure improvement. The team with the most improvement overall wins the nice, sparkly pot of Entry Fees (it's $100 cash per person).
Quite an incentive if I do say so myself (Capricorn = highly motivated by money).
Knowing this was coming up, lemme tell you what I ate.
Friday night, I had two open-face sandwiches with white bread, mayo, butter, shrimp, and avacado. It was Norway Day, and since one of our very dear friends is a master chef, we had to go over and help her honor her husband (holy h'alliteration!) by eating her fine cookery. Let me tell you, friends. It was no strain to kill that meal. Oh, and I had wine.
Oh, yeah... And two massive pieces of homemade marzipan cake.
In my defense, I knew that night was coming and endeavored to only eat vegetables all day until then.
I woke up the next day feeling no less ill. But! Hair of the dog, as they say.
Saturday I spent the better part of the day crying and baking a cake; crying, because I was sad and baking because I wanted to make my friend happy!
So I made a bundt cake that looked exactly like THIS
and decided to stop crying - batter was getting salty.
Then proceeded to have a hamburger with cheese with ketchup, mayo and one tomato on it. Cuz that's what I wanted. And I think I had a martini. Or three. It gets fuzzy around that part.
And two bites of my honey's piece of cake, after declaring proudly that I refused to have a whole one. He's so nice. :)
Sunday for breakfast, I had burger left overs.
For dinner, we had dove poppers (jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese, dove breast, wrapped in bacon and grilled). Surprisingly, the only "bad" thing there is the cream cheese.
Remember the rule! PLANT or ANIMAL only! Nom nom!
For dessert, I did something really stupid. I had a bowl of Special K red berry cereal. The clincher is this: Since I only had 1% milk (and I do hate water-milk), I had to balance it out with cream. Really, I mean, the science only makes sense.
An aside:
Cereal is really, really, really bad for you. There are three things that humans should not ingest for any reason: Grains, dairy and sugar. I'll let Mark's Daily Apple explain it. I use words like "bacon" and "cake." He uses words like "pectin" and "insulin resistance," so you should probably listen to him.
I slept hard Sunday night. And all the while I was steadily gaining weight from water retention, gastrointestinal inflammation and fat gain because I have no idea what my calorie intake for that weekend was.
Needless to say, the number on the scale went up. I knew why and didn't allow myself to collapse in a fit of self-loathing and disgust when I looked at myself in the mirror... Unlike SOMEONE I know.
*Cough* FatBritney *Cough*
Monday, I didn't wake up.
I mean, I did, eventually... I was in some kind of gluten coma or something. My poor honey got out of bed, got ready, made his own breakfast and smooched me g'bye before he left.
I remember part of that.
Grains literally take me down a few notches. When I finally got out of bed, I was plagued by a sense of being too full in all the *wrong* ways.
Like I said earlier, though, the CrossFit Cypress Hunger Games Challenge started Monday, so I (literally) ROLLED to the box for the evening class.
I felt pretty danged good after that.
Ta DA!
Still a long way to go before I look in a mirror and love what I see. I like it now... But I want to love it.
I'm gonna set up a fan in my bathroom for this.
I know how to lose weight. I've done it (twice) before. My struggle is keeping the weight off and putting the stupid fork down. I do enjoy food so.
Okay, so a goal is a dream with a plan behind it, so here's my goal.
1. FatBritney mode
2. Eat clean, train dirty
3. ????
4. PROFIT
Doesn't get much more solid than that, folks.
Gil
